Behind that cold mask of self-control, self-dominance and over-responsibility, many times we find a great fear of being free. A person seeks perfection, balance, commits himself daily to himself, strives to be perfect until one day achieves that point where apparently everything is fine. There’s no need to change anything, to move anything. Although unfortunately still feeling empty in the background.
If it is beautiful an inner search, to listen to oneself, to seek the balance, to organize the life, to have clear the objectives and to be with oneself. More at what point could we establish the difference between the quest to be better people, more coherent, honest and committed to life, and at what point are we trying to have control of life and ourselves?
A person closes the door of his house, he hides his thoughts, lies and speaks when they do not look, he comments on others that he dares not say to the face, does not know what others feel, does not know their neighbors and not even close to them except the indispensable with a s Upuesto respect conditioned by cordiality. He controls and judges when he interfere in other people’s business. It avoids breaking obsolete relationships, avoids creating new relationships, controls the agenda, the portfolio, and above all, controls that does not endanger the balance of life that calls welfare.
The word master, the perfect breastplate.
There is fear, and when fear was fed, when life was built around fear, one no longer even opens to life for fear of change and freedom. Fear makes us slaves. And like any negative habit, it demands nourishment: control, attachment, exclusion, defamation, manias and loneliness.
What would happen to that person if he stopped being in control?
The insecurity of knowing that fate is more powerful than our ego. The insecurity of knowing that we want to control everything because we fear to realize that we do not control anything at all.
Fear is a strange friend with whom many coexist and feed with armoured doors, locks, multitude of keys and defenses to his heart. And the day they are fragile, it quickly transforms the vulnerability into Autonocimiento, security, and self-control.
Then fear grows and the person seeks to control, not only their intimacy, their mediocrity, but also all those around him. Sometimes knowing them, sometimes giving away more to generate emotional debts, sometimes counseling, sometimes begging affection when the relationship is in jeopardy.
Control is a curious form of fear. More behind control there’s only fear.
Such a person will find coldness and fear in others quickly. He’ll soon find out how others are afraid of him. How they defend themselves, how they cling to their pain, their money or their lives so as not to let go of it for fear of losing something of themselves. More only sees an inaccurate and empty reflex of himself. He sees nothing but the surface.
The elbows raised, the arms crossed, the confrontation just before every situation of vulnerability. Remembering each other’s weaknesses, bragging about his achievements, showing his mistakes while he knows he’s already got them under control. To go home soon, not to chat, not to wandering, the only to know to speak with the stranger with a mask of temporal hypocrisy.
The fear of being watched, of being heard, of being loved. The fear that it seeks to manufacture a shell the bigger the better.
Then come the vain advice of that person who by his fear controlled everything in his life, including the number of children he has, at what point the tube, the money he earns, the work he has, the partner he keeps, the visits to the family of courtesy and the words and Xactas of cordiality in the landing of the staircase: you have to open yourself for a change; As long as you continue to act so your life will remain unchanged; There is a lot of instability in your life; Your body has pain because you don’t hear it; You’re single because you’re afraid to share; you need to commit; Your fear does not allow you to commit, etc. etc.
There is fear in his advice, fear in his gaze, fear in the life of the controller. And perhaps valuable tips more emerged from a great protective shield.
We are going to move slightly to that place where we can not control anything, and from there look, from there watch, listen and silence your mind. Look at that place where there’s no control. And don’t think that you can quickly go back home, where you control everything. Nor that you can quickly look at your phone to escape the hubbub. Go to that place without asking anyone’s permission. You return to that point where there is no possibility to control anything and from there, if you can get there, surrender. Surrender because life is much stronger than your pride. And from there, look, observe, analyse, listen, feel, love.
The place where there is no control and therefore the only place from which we can create something new. And that person, insecure, hesitant, lost many times, with the agenda in White, with life in uncontrolled, disorderly, solitary and loving people…, that person, look at it, because that is about to make a change.
If we always do the same, we will always achieve the same. There will be no change. If we always continually take the same steps, with the same postures, in the same way, there will be no possibility of transformation. Only those who do something different will achieve different results.
Fear will not allow any change. Fear grabs, oppresses, feeds even what hurts us. Fear is not an ally of love, nor of emotional equilibrium, it is only an ally of control.
Healthy fear will warn us of a danger to protect our life, our body, our family. Fear friend will help us to protect. Because fear seizes, protects.
More when a person wants to move forward, overcome, liberate, transform, touch Open and release control, release fear. Surrender and open to the totally uncontrolled infinite possibilities that life offers us, which under no circumstances are predictable or controllable.
We can excuse ourselves in solitude, in the fear that they will harm us, in the commitments taken, in the lack of faith in oneself, more remains fear which seeks to be heard.